


New Me, Old Problems

by candiedbonemarrow, NyanzoYiffmada



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, SolKat (unrequited)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:13:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29388945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candiedbonemarrow/pseuds/candiedbonemarrow, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyanzoYiffmada/pseuds/NyanzoYiffmada
Summary: Your name is Sollux Captor and you’d always thought the idea of meeting old friends again only to realize they’d gotten hot was a stupid cliche in KK’s romcoms, a needless trope that just gave the characters an excuse to suddenly be attracted to each other and you still stand by that thought.
Relationships: Eridan Ampora/Karkat Vantas, Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	1. Out of the Cocoon and into the Fire

_Your name is Sollux Captor and you’d always thought the idea of meeting old friends again only to realize they’d gotten hot was a stupid cliche in KK’s romcoms, a needless trope that just gave the characters an excuse to suddenly be attracted to each other and you still stand by that thought. Just...maybe not as much as before._

_You find yourself standing in the middle of Feferi’s ballroom, because of course her house has a whole ass ballroom all its own, along with the rest of your friends. Well, you don’t quite consider some of them friends anymore but your stupid little pusher is still vaguely attached to them but that’s neither here nor there. You’re all here at the behest of FF herself to celebrate all of you reaching your adult molts and while you’re usually not one to entertain any of her grossly lavish parties if you can help it this one...this one is pretty important for all of you._ _  
__Even without the game there was always a chance that some of you would never make it this far, would never slide into the dreamless sleep of metamorphosis after huddling safely to cocoon themselves for the last time in their life cycle. Sure, for some of you, yourself included, this was probably the best option considering how the empire worked but despite your seeming readiness to drop dead at a moment’s notice, there was always a little part of you that’d dared to hope._

 _Granted, you did ultimately drop dead before you could_ ** _but_** _that is a nonissue considering your friends made sure to drag you and the others from the bubbles, kicking and screaming if need be._  
 _But yeah, hot friends, who in the fresh fuck allowed_ ** _that_** _? You’ve lost your title as tallest in your friend group, Gamzee having stolen it from you by a landslide. FF slides in as a slight second if only by a head, something she makes up for with her louder than necessary personality and ego, and Eridan comes in third though he’s taller than most of your group._ _  
__A sigh whistles through your teeth;_ ** _Eridan_**. 

_You’ll never admit it to his face because your ego won’t let you but he was admittedly a little cute when you were younger, at least until he opened his mouth. Now? Let’s just say you have a_ **_little_ ** _envy._

 _He’s not nearly as toned as Equius but there’s noticeable muscle, especially since the stupid fish-faced fucker started wearing sleeveless turtlenecks apparently._ **_Asshole_ ** _. That said you do appreciate that he’s kind of shrugged off a lot of the pomp and glamor he clung so tightly to. Sure, you still don’t think anyone needs that many rings and you don’t understand why the guy has to wear slacks instead of a nice pair of jeans but the cape is long gone along with the faux superiority complex he seemed to cling so tightly to when you were younger. He’s still kind of lean but he makes it_ **_work_ ** _, long legs all the way up to the Dark Carnival and he’s sharp, now; not in that bony, half-starved way a lot of you were when you were younger but in a way that makes him grossly attractive in how_ **_dangerous_ ** _he looks. Sharp eyes that look like they can see right through you, sharp cheekbones that fit the rest of his regal features, sharp teeth perfect for marking up skin, sharp claws painted in glittering ultramarine; okay, time to stop staring like a creep._

 _Except there’s nowhere safe for you to look and your shirt is starting to feel a little_ _restrictive despite being pretty damn comfy just moments before._

 _Gamzee’s talking to Eridan about something or other, you can’t quite_ _make out what from your spot on the wall, but it’s not like you’re interested in whatever it is as much as you are his lips and fangs. Why are you so focused on this?_ **_Everyone_ ** _has lips and teeth and yet you watch the way his lips look surprisingly soft as they pull back in a smile, wonder how his fangs would feel scraping against your neck and you’re starting to sweat. It doesn’t help that Gamzee’s also bulked up some and you’re starting to wonder if all your fucking friends just up and decided to hit the gym without telling you because you can see his muscles tensing under his long sleeve, especially around his midriff which of course leads your eyes downward because you have no fucking self-control and...did Gamzee always have that much ass?_ **_ANYWAY_ ** _-_

_Feferi’s gotten even softer, much to your surprise, but you think it suits her. Most of it sits on her tummy and ass and her cheeks have rounded out significantly. You try very hard not to stare at her thighs but she makes it so damn hard considering the slip in her dress goes all the way up to them. She’d probably be even cuter if she didn’t still have this air of ‘I’m so sorry you’re all poor’ but in the snidest way possible. She also cut her hair which threw all of you for a loop but then again she seems to be trying to ingratiate and integrate herself with her ‘family’; you feel so bad for June and Jane and even worse for Jade since Feferi doesn’t even seem to consider her when she does it._

_She’s talking to Vriska and, you can’t believe you’re saying this, you kind of feel bad for her. Okay, that’s not fair, Vriska has been getting help and you’re admittedly proud of her. It’s...it’s hard to ask for help, especially when you’ve got pride and ego like hers. She’s bulked up some, which isn’t too surprising since she’s always been a more active person but also you’re pretty damn sure that your friends did just all decide to get buff just to spite you. She’s also cut her hair, though you’re not sure if it's an aesthetic thing or a practicality thing since she’s mentioned taking up kickboxing. Her jaw is more square now without the leftover grub fat of youth and she looks like she’d be right at home in some action flick, metal arm, eyepatch, and all._

_Lips perfect for kissing wrapped around teeth perfect for marking and muscles that strain fabric and whatever poor strand of sanity you have left. You have to do something,_ **_anything_** _before you give yourself heat stroke._

 _Reluctantly you push off the wall and make your way to the drinks side of the buffet. The punch has way too much sugar in it to be good for anyone’s health, least of all yours, but its cold, and if your lucky no one will notice that your cup is 90% ice and 10% punch except you realize halfway there that Tavros and Equius are already there-shit, fuck,_ **_why_ ** _? Maybe if you’re lucky they haven’t noticed you yet and-_

“hEY! sOLLUX!”

_The gods hate you: Confirmed._

_Tavros waves you over excitedly and you’re half tempted to run in the opposite direction but opt not to if only because you don’t think you could survive hurting Tavros’ feelings like that. You take a deep breath and steel yourself before walking over but it doesn’t fucking help, how could it when Tavros biceps look like they might be as big as your fucking head and his hands large enough to possibly wrap completely around your wrist._

“Hey...TV,” **_YOU_ ** _-_

_You’re half-tempted to fry your brain here and now or maybe if you pray hard enough the Horrorterrors will rip themselves from the Furthest Ring just to snatch you up but then Tavros smiles, lopsided and goofy, and you think maybe it’s not too bad...or it’s worse, you’re not sure yet._

“oH! i THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE GROWN OUT OF THAT; GLAD TO SEE YOU DIDN'T, tHOUGH i DON'T THINK TV FITS ME VERY WELL, i'VE NEVER BEEN ONE FOR THE SCREEN,” _he teases, gently nudging you with his elbow. You do your damndest to keep yourself in line because Tavros does not deserve to have you thinking about him like that, especially after all the shit he had to go through when you were younger, but it’s so damn hard when his t-shirt looks practically painted on and his stupid jean overalls hug his legs, the top part folded over instead of clipped over his shirt._

_“Yeah..,” you laugh awkwardly. He’s lost that nasally, cracked quality to his voice and traded it in favor of something warmer and richer like aged bourbon and it hits you just as hard, has your knees weak enough to almost shake._

“You give yourself too little credit, Tavros. You have a STRONG but kind personality and a way with animals; I hear humans are trolls alike are very fond of such qualities.”

_You almost jump right out of your skin; you’d all but forgotten Equius was even there. He’s surprisingly good at that, blending into the background despite his size. He’s as bulky as you remember but softer around the edges now instead of his skin being shrinkwrapped around his muscles; he looks better this way and holy fucking shit Equius doesn’t have his shades on. His eyes are such a gorgeous shade of indigo and framed by full, long lashes that give his chiseled face a slightly more delicate quality._

_You must have been staring too long because he seems to fluster, turning away a little as his cheeks turn blue and Tavros chuckles._

“Nepeta insisted that I leave my shades at home since I implored her to leave her hat and gloves,” _he admits softly._

 _“_ dON'T FEEL TO BAD, i STARED TO; ITS A LITTLE HARD NOT TO,” _and it is, it so fucking is but not for the reason Tavros thinks because Equius’ blush has you thinking some not-so-saintly thoughts and it doesn’t help that, like Eridan, Equius didn’t quite seem to get the memo that this was supposed to be a_ **_casual_ ** _party so he’s wearing a satin button-up that’s not even fully done up, the top few buttons likely having given up the fight a few minutes into being worn, and dress pants that do nothing to hide his figure. You’re pretty sure his hair was nowhere near this glossy when you last saw him, black silk flowing over broad shoulders save for the little bit that’s pulled back into a braid._

“'SuP mOtHeRfUcKeRs; Y'aLl MiNd If I gEt Up In HeRe? TeReZi SaId ThE sTeAk'S aCtUaLlY nOt HaLf BaD aNd I aM sTaRvIn'.”

_You quietly thank Gamzee’s sense of timing. With Equius and Tavros’ attentions effectively drawn away from you, it’s easy to slip away back to the punch before making a beeline to the veranda in hopes that the cool ocean breeze will help._

_As you chew on an ice cube you finally spot TZ, Nepeta, AA, and Kanaya laughing amongst themselves as they walk the beach._

_You can’t help but smile, you don’t remember the last time you saw Kanaya laugh so freely, and honestly, she deserves it. She looks even more regal than before, something you didn’t even think was possible. She’s sharp in the same way Eridan is and just as attractively dangerous-looking though you think her hips might have gotten just a hint wider, her legs a little longer. Her hair is much the same as before but you can see more of that natural curl now, though you have no idea if she came that way or if the humidity is at play. As beautiful as she is Kanaya doesn’t cause quite the same response as the others; then again, you’re well aware you’re not exactly her ‘type’ and even then you two have been bordering pale for so long it just seems weird to see her any other way._

_Nepeta...honestly doesn’t look much different save for being noticeably taller with better fitting clothes, though that’s not to say she’s any less attractive than the rest of the group; Nepeta has always been terribly cute with soft, round eyes and an equally round face. You’re no fool, though; you know how dangerous she is, know that she could slit your throat before you even noticed she was there and that should_ **_not_ ** _make your stomach flutter but apparently your body has recently decided that ‘could kill you instantly’ is the attractive trait of the evening. You’ve nothing against TZ personally and you understand why Karkat was so horns over heels for her but you’ve always thought KK was pretty...not cruel but pretty something to not at least given her a chance. Then again you can’t force these kinds of things; you’d know best._

 _Especially since AA is… You’ve got mixed feelings. You’ve both realized you’re not really good for each other and that_ **_stings_ ** _. Honestly, if you thought you felt like a romcom protag before then you’re a fucking shojo protag now as you stare at her longingly; you still miss her sometimes. Her hair is longer now, kept up in a loose braid, and she’s got a little muscle on her under the chub. Like Gamzee she’s a lot more lively looking, has more color in her cheeks, especially now as she talks to Terezi. They’d be cute together, you think, but also entirely unhinged and you’re not sure if any of you are ready for that._

 _The teal in question slimmed out a little, though not enough for you to be too_ _terribly concerned about her eating regularly. That said you know law school has been taking its toll on her so you make a mental note to touch base with her later. For now, she seems more than happy to romp around with the others, splashing in the surf when the waves lap at their ankles. She’s also let her hair grow out, though only a little past her shoulders, and her claws are sharper now, curving in a little. Your mind unhelpfully supplies that they’d be good for tearing clothes._

“Finally unstuck yourself from the wwall I see.”

 _Oh, oh the gods_ **_do_ ** _hate you! They kick your stupid little feelings around like the football and say ‘Jail for Sollux! Jail for One Thousand Sweeps!’. You don’t want to face him, you don’t even know if you can; you finally started to cool off, to… Come on, you can do this; all you have to do is turn around and say hi._

“2tiill 2tiickiing your 2niiff nub iin other people'2 bu2iine22 II 2ee.” _Nailed it. Okay, admittedly you probably should have been nicer considering Eridan didn’t_ **_do_ ** _anything but then you turn around and he’s got this funny little smile that shows off a row of shark-like teeth and why are you like this? You hate that you have to look up at him now and you hate that his clothes sit just right and you hate that he smells like blackberry tarts and coffee._

“Good to see some things nevver change; howw havve ya been, Sol?” 

“II've been okay II gue22…” _It’s surprisingly much easier to talk to Eridan than it was Tavros and Equius. Maybe it’s because you’ve already had your moment to drool over him, or maybe it's because Eridan seems just as awkward as you are, even if he is a little better at hiding it._

“Hey, listen, I...I wwanted to apologize…” 

_You raise a brow at him in confusion; what was he sorry for? He just got here and yeah you called him nosy but-_

“For all the indecent and random calls, the slurs, ...attackin’ ya cause a Fef.”

_Oh. You...honestly didn’t see this coming and it’s pretty evident by the shock on your face. You’re pretty sure you all have a lot to apologize for but just figured everyone was just planning on ignoring it, yourself included._

_“Oh...II mean II...II wa2n't exactly the be2t per2on, eiither.”_

_“Doesn’ mean any of that wwas called for.”_

_You open your mouth to reply but your thoughts are suddenly interrupted by FF’s egregiously loud and annoying doorbell and you both look back to the ballroom, a fluttering feeling in your chest; finally._

_Said fuchsia squeals in delight and runs off to get the door for their ‘honored guest’. KK had been the last and the longest molt of the group, a surprise considering the latter should have been Feferi. FF comes back giggling up a storm, hand in front of her face and cheeks pink and you can’t help but grin. Your little friend group made a betting pool on whether or not Karkat would stay short and if FF’s reaction is anything to go by, well…_

_Your grin gets bitch slapped right off your face as soon as Karkat comes into view._


	2. Gold With Envy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this kind of turned into a bit of a collab with the lovely [candiedbonemarrow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/candiedbonemarrow) who's also basically my beta reader.  
> If you'd like some more EriKar content I suggest checking out their fic [Fragile Feelings, Fragile Progress](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19484698/chapters/46381774)
> 
> Edit by candiedbonemarrow: Hi there! I practically wormed my way into working on this fic, just got here a little late, haha. I didn't do too much this chapter but next chapter will be a fuller collab which I'm REALLY excited for! Either way, I hope you enjoy!

_ He’s gotten taller, but he’s still the shortest in the group, which has him swearing in his usual colorful manner. That said, while he may not have gotten tall, he’s definitely gotten  _ **_thick_ ** _ and you can already feel the heat singeing your cheeks.  _

_ KK’s always been on the more plump side of things but never quite like this. He looks like a small cholerbear, plush fat packed over hard muscle. If you thought Tavros’ clothes were straining then KK’s look minutes away from tearing, especially around his bust and thighs. His fingers are about as thick as two of yours and his lips are full and plump and in the moment you think that your traitorous body reacts far too eagerly, bulges twitching in their sheath and nook growing wet. If everyone here is a snack, Karkat is a full course meal and you’re  _ **_starving_ ** _. You’re not the only one to take notice, either, though reactions vary.  _

_ Vriska snickers with Feferi, probably over the fact that Karkat’s clothes seem a little too long and a little too tight, or maybe that he came in a plaid button-up and high-waisted jeans, while Gamzee has stopped mid-bite of his steak, his eyes wandering. Equius and Tavros seem equal parts shocked and amused but you can see the way Tavros bites the corner of his lip. Eridan, though, looks like a fish out of water, mouth open and face a deep violet. You’re admittedly glad you’re not the only one drooling a little, and it’s vindicating to watch Eridan force his mouth shut with his hand, even more so when he catches you staring and all he can do is whip his head away and puff his ever-darkening cheeks. _

_ In typical Karkat fashion, he proceeds to flip both Vriska and FF off as he storms over to the buffet and skips the steak all together, snatching up one of the precut cake slices. Of course, FF being FF decides that this is CLEARLY KK’s way of saying he wants her to come over, a skip in her step as she proceeds to invade his space. You watch his lip curl and notice his fangs look a lot sharper and narrowly avoid fainting, heat prickling your vision as you wonder how those fangs would feel clamping around the soft patch of skin between your neck and your shoulder, if they would draw blood. He grips the plate tight and leans away from the fuchsia but she doesn’t seem to get the hint, Tavros having to distract her long enough for Gamzee to squirrel Karkat off to the other side of the ballroom.  _

_ You eye the way KK’s jeans cling to his legs as he walks, like they’re seconds away from bursting at the seams, and gods why is it so, fucking,  _ **_hot?_ ** _ By the time you go to bed tonight your poor pants are going to be ruined and you’ll have sweat off half your water weight; as if you weren’t thin as a rake already. A part of you wants to walk over but you feel rooted to your spot and you’re not sure if it’s because your pan has been fried or because you don’t know the last time KK and Gamzee got to talk so freely. Things between them were...strained, for a while, after the game, so it’s admittedly nice to see them getting some time to just talk.  _

_ It DOES leave you a little frustrated, however, ear twitching as you watch Tavros finally manage to get Feferi off of him so he can go join the conversation. You feel a little bad, KK is their friend too, after all, but all the same you have to wonder if he’ll ever make it over to your little corner. You’re not the only one who seems affected by the wait, either, if the soft whine from Eridan is anything to go by. You didn’t notice it at first, what with being too busy staring Karkat down like a massive fucking creep, but it’s there and he’s starting to rock on his heels a little, fins twitching in strange patterns. It’d probably be cute if Eridan didn’t sound almost miserable.  _

_ The sound increases in pitch and length with each person that gets KK’s attention, his fidgeting getting more noticeable: wringing his hands, chewing on his lip only for him to suddenly straighten up, fins alert. You nearly give yourself whiplash turning to follow his eyes and a wave of anxious excitement hits you so hard you almost feel sick.  _

_ Oh yeah, he’s still the KK you know. Sure, he walks with less of a slouch now and isn’t eyeing every exit like a nervous hop beast, but he still has that air about him that makes him feel dependable, that makes you feel a little lighter because you know KK will do his best to make it all okay. Well, when he’s not being a little brat, anyway. _

“I see how it is; can’t even be assed to at least meet me halfway, Captor?”

_ You knew he was coming over, knew he was bound to say something to at least one of you. He sits there silently for a few moments, probably expecting you to say something, and still, it takes you by surprise. Absorbed in the way he walks, perhaps? In your own head too much? His voice is much harder to handle up close and you almost forget to say something; it's always had that gravelly undertone to it but now it’s deeper, huskier, and you feel dizzy and breathless. If there was something plush underneath you, you’d let yourself fall over. The support might save you from fainting the next time Karkat decides to speak. He’s looking at you with a slight frown, eyebrow raised and tapping his foot, and you fight the urge to clear your throat.  _

“Look, KK, II know your leg2 are a2 2hort a2 your horn2 but iit wa2n’t THAT much of a walk.” __

_ He proceeds to sputter indignantly, eyes practically glowing with outrage before tearing into you; ah, seems he hasn’t changed as much as you thought. You’d kind of expected him to get a little less angry, but this works just fine. Eridan stands off to the side, looking like some beached, sun-baked sea creature whose pusher is having trouble pounding, fins flapping as he starts wringing his hands again. What looked like a nervous habit at first is now, admittedly, a little worrying, with how tight his grip is on his delicate skin; he might actually hurt himself. His hair is starting to fall out of place, lip quivering as if he’s trying to form words but nothing comes out. It’s only when Karkat’s about halfway through his rant about how he hopes you hit your head on every doorframe in existence that Eridan’s thinkpan seems to finally reconnect with his mouth. _

“Hi, Kar…” 

_ It’s quiet, and a little choked out, but in Eridan’s defense KK being this close is doing a number on the both of you. The top few buttons of his shirt are short of popping, little bits of cleavage peeking through between each one and he’s so damn warm it's like standing next to a radiator. Karkat tries to frown but for once in your life-many lives?-he actually fails, the corners of his lips doing a weird little wobble before he sighs and smiles, even if only a little.  _

“Hey, Eridan.” 

_ He sounds a little breathless himself and you can’t tell if it’s because of the ranting or if it’s the fact that Eridan’s actually kind of fucking hot now. A little nugget of jealousy sits heavy in your stomach but you aim to ignore it; weren’t you just a little breathless over Eridan a moment ago yourself?  _

“You look really nice tonight.”

“I-t,thanks. So do you.” 

_ There’s something almost...off about the way they talk, speech stilted and eyes never quite meeting or at least not for very long. You have to wonder if it’s because of Eridan’s breakdown in the reactor room; you can’t really blame them if it is. That entire thing was a shitshow and it’s a wonder Feferi even invited Eridan in the first place- ...well, maybe not a total wonder; you wouldn’t put it past her to use it as a way to show off how much better she is without him. That said, they don’t seem aggressive or afraid, KK still standing within arm’s reach of the violet and Eridan’s pose more relaxed than before, though you notice that KK has also started rocking on his heels as he constantly fidgets with where to put his hands.  _

_ There’s a pregnant pause and it leaves  _ **_you_ ** _ fidgeting, the two of them making passing glances and having a private conversation through body language. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but it leaves you feeling uncomfortable and left out, like there’s some Alternia-shattering secret right in front of you that you can’t quite make out. Before you can break the awkward silence, though, a shrill voice cuts in;  _

_ “SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLUUUUUUUUX~!” _

_ You cringe so hard you’re surprised your neck doesn’t pop, though with the way FF all but tackles you, it's a miracle it doesn’t just break. You can’t even get a breath in before she’s dragging you away, talking your ear off about something or other that you just don’t give a shit about and yanking harder when you try to look back at KK and Eridan. _

_ There’s a look on her face you can’t quite read though you swear you could almost mistake it for jealousy. She drags you to some corner of the ballroom, practically positioning you so you have no choice but to look at her and nothing but her all while she word vomits niceties and small talk as if she was practicing with a dummy rather than talking to you. She holds you hostage for an hour, a fucking hour, before getting bored of your one-word answers and monotone voice and running off to pester poor Nepeta. You feel a little bad… just a little; Nepeta can take care of herself.  _

_You look around, hoping to continue your conversation with Karkat, only to realize he’s nowhere to be seen and huff. Of course, KK finally gets here and you don’t even get to really talk to him. What the hell do you even bother getting your hopes up for anymore? If you’re lucky, he’s still somewhere in the ballroom, or at least just out on the veranda. Finding him shouldn’t be that hard, right?_ _  
_ _Wrong. GODS, you were so fucking wrong; why does she need a big ass ballroom in the first place?! You’ve checked by the buffet, the veranda, a little bit of the beach, the area sectioned off to be the dancefloor because that makes total sense despite all the floor being the DANCEFLOOR… KK might be starting to rub off on you, or maybe he might have a justified reason for his constant grumpy demeanor after all._

_ Just as you start patrolling the edge of the ballroom to see if maybe Karkat is trying to hide in one of the darker corners, your ears pick up a puff of air, what could have been a breeze, but as you walk past again it’s unmistakable; a breathless sigh followed by a door rattling. You quickly turn around to leave whoever to their business, only to feel your blood shatter in your veins like ice as an all too familiar voice sounds, pinning you to your spot as you helplessly listen.  _

“Eridan-!”

_ A breathy whisper, tinged with a whine.  _

“Gods, I missed you, Kar.” _  
_ _Your stomach churns and flutters, skin crawling, clammy and damp but somehow so dry at the same time. You shouldn’t be here, you should leave, you want to leave, you don’t want to hear this, but then they kiss, just a string of small, soft ones at first before gradually becoming wet and desperate, and you can hear them shifting. To get closer? To get more comfortable? You can’t tell, not without opening the door and risking them spilling out, tangled in each other like one of Jade’s toys._

“Why don’t you show me how much, then,”  _ Karkat all but growls, eliciting a trill from Eridan and leaving your mouth watering.  _

“I-you-wwe can’t do that, not here,”  _ is Eridan’s reply, hushed, as if he could hear voices outside the door listening in. He’s not entirely wrong, which makes it all so much worse. _

“Come  _ ON _ , Eridan,”  _ he whines,  _ “It’ll be quick, just-” 

_ Karkat lets out a startled sound and the ceiling spins, floor wobbling underneath your feet. Your thinkpan is busy trying to conjure up every little thought you’ve had about KK throughout the sweeps into one big pornographic daydream, maybe to turn this into something positive, to get something out of it, but your pusher has long since frozen over, become too cold and heavy to carry, sinking more and more with each moment. Passing out doesn’t even sound half bad right now.  _

“I said not here,”  _ Eridan’s more stern this time, giving a sharp growl of his own that earns him a whimper from Karkat.  _ “And believve me, I’d havve you right noww if I could.” 

_ Fabric shifts just behind the door and you’re not sure if Eridan’s giving in or if he’s trying to hide that they ever did anything in the first place. Could he even think that far? Could anyone manage, if they could get close enough to breathe in Karkat’s scent? _

_ Eridan’s voice is so smooth, tone so soft like he’s soothing Karkat, but it hurts, grates at your ears.  _

_ “Soon, though. I didn’ wwait both our molts just to let you slip awway from me.” Karkat’s answering chirp has far too much packed into it for you to think about lest you fall to pieces completely.  _

_ Your eyes burn and your ears are ringing so bad you almost miss the sound of the door unlocking. Whatever spell you’re under finally breaks and you quickly hide behind a pillar, watching as Eridan first peeks his head out, only to signal the coast is clear, and the two of them walk out. Their hair is more disheveled than before- Eridan’s hair gel is completely useless, and you had no idea he had curls. Karkat’s top buttons are undone, though his collar is straightened out, while Eridan’s sweater is wrinkled and untucked on one side; couldn’t bother to fix that, could you, Eridan? Must have been Karkat’s shirt he was messing with, then, which delivers a sharp pain just behind your eyes. You think you see a few bruises blossoming just under their collars, almost unseeable if it weren’t for the deep, rich color from broken vessels. Karkat’s red looks gorgeous, stained from underneath his skin. If only it wasn’t put there by Eridan’s teeth, if only it were yours instead. Would it bruise in the shape of your fangs? Your jaw pops, strains to keep a frustrated growl from leaving your throat. _

_ The rest of the party is a stressful mess. You try to keep your eyes off them if only to help the feelings searing at your lungs from growing any worse, but it’s nigh impossible. They brush against each other when walking past, sometimes lingering for far too long, eyeing each other from the side as they part. At one point Eridan rests his hand on Karkat’s back when joining a conversation he’s having with Kanaya, and for a moment you think you see it wander down just a tad. When they’re apart, they cast longing glances across the room, and when they’re together, they’re practically attached at the hip. If anyone else notices, they don’t say or show it. The whole thing makes you nauseous, jealousy and anger curling in your gut. Do they know? Are you the only one out of the loop? Or are they themselves really so clueless? At this point, it’s sickeningly obvious, and you have to take several breaks just to sit down and keep your head from swimming so hard you fall and knock yourself out. _

_ You think it’s funny? Ironic?  _ **_Infuriating_ ** _? -that the person who won Karkat’s heart was the one person you wouldn’t have suspected. Nepeta you could understand, TZ you had expected, but Eridan? Much like with Aradia your feelings are complicated. You’re happy he’s happy but you’re painfully jealous all the same. You’ve known him the longest, you  _ **_thought_ ** _ you knew him the best; Karkat should have been  _ **_yours_ ** _. _

_ Your name is Sollux Captor and you think you might be in one of KK’s shitty, awful,  _ **_painful_ ** _ romcoms.  _


End file.
